The Long Game

Here’s a bunch of things I’ve been up to, learnings and perspective shifts:

(Trying a new format, more informal. Inspired by Michael K.)

1. Process vs outcome goals.

I started the year thinking about goals like breaking 80 in golf, getting a six pack, or 10x’ing revenue from last year. On paper, those are the kinds of goals I’ve always set. But something about them didn’t feel aligned anymore. I’ve been thinking a lot more about being on a journey and letting the results take care of themselves. I’ve seen that play out over the last couple of years — when I put in the work consistently, outcomes show up, often better than what I originally aimed for. When I attach myself to specific outcomes, I add pressure. For a long time, I told myself I thrived under pressure. But was I really thriving? My health suffered, emotionally I was disconnected and compartmentalizing, and mentally I couldn’t sit in silence. I always needed something playing — music, podcasts — because I didn’t want to face hard truths. I was always running. And there’s a cost to that.

So instead, I’m focusing on process goals: taking care of my health (cardio a couple times a week, making better food choices, staying off alcohol), creating (focused build blocks, talking to people to learn about their problems, weekly introspection), and play (practicing putting so I don’t 3 putt, continuing golf lessons, learning to use the driver with confidence). I genuinely believe if I stay focused on these, the outcomes will happen when they’re meant to. What matters more is that the path itself feels good day to day.

2. Scarcity vs abundance.

Growing up in an immigrant family focused on survival, scarcity runs deep in me. There’s this underlying feeling that whatever I have or am doing is not enough and I need to keep striving. At the same time, I’m incredibly grateful for the sacrifices my parents made moving to Canada, for the education I received, for my time in tech, and for having such a supportive partner in Sonya. Over the past couple of years, something has shifted. I’ve started believing that I can do hard things, that I can figure things out, that I’m enough. AI has reinforced this belief in an unexpected way — it’s shown me how much leverage there is when you stay curious and persistent. This shift has been powerful. I don’t feel the need to be in hustle mode all the time. I make time for health, friends, family, and play. And when I do my focus blocks, I go hard and I love it. But I don’t let work crowd out the rest of my life anymore. One intention for this year is to keep choosing abundance and gratitude over pressure.

3. Books.

Learning and growth are core values for me, but I could never get myself to read consistently. I’d set goals to read X books a year and barely finish one. I started believing I just didn’t like reading. Over the past year, that perspective shifted. I don’t hate reading — I was just picking the wrong books. It felt like watching bad TV shows and assuming TV wasn’t for me. Now I put books I’ve enjoyed in the past into ChatGPT along with topics I’m curious about and get recommendations that actually resonate. Recently I’ve read The Art of Learning (leveled up my golf game), Pathless Path (validated this new way of life/work), The Biggest Bluff (fun story about poker, luck vs skill), and Awareness (helped me re-focus on the present). I’ve also gotten comfortable dropping books I’m not enjoying instead of forcing myself to finish them. I’ll tell ChatGPT why I didn’t like it and move on. I don’t have reading goals anymore. I just read for 10 minutes before bed now. I remember talking to Sophia last summer about thinking deeply about a problem before bed and how the subconscious keeps working overnight. I’d rather feed my brain something meaningful at night than a random sports podcast.

4. Spinning plates.

Steve shared this spinning plates analogy that stuck with me: don’t add a new plate until you’re comfortable spinning the ones you already have. In the past, I’d try to change everything at once — new diet, gym, cardio, sleep, wake-up time — and eventually all the plates would crash. That all-or-nothing approach never worked long term. Over the last few years, I’ve built habits slowly: cutting out alcohol and processed foods, adding cold plunge and sauna, stretching, waking up at 5am, cutting news, social media, etc. This year, I felt ready to add cardio more consistently. I started playing squash again — something I loved in university. If I could, I’d play sports all day. Twenty minutes in, I’m drenched and it feels incredible. I’m also experimenting with red lens glasses at night and a SAD lamp in the morning.

5. Elimination → re-introduction.

When I want to cut something out that doesn’t feel like it’s adding value — sugar, news, social media, alcohol — going cold turkey for three months works best for me. One month isn’t enough — it’s too easy to slip back. Three months lets the benefits really sink in. The first couple weeks are hard, but then I start feeling so much better that I don’t want to go back. Now, after eliminating things, I can reintroduce them intentionally. Maybe once a month I check Instagram for five minutes. With alcohol, I usually say no, and if I say yes it’s deliberate. What’s changed is I don’t see these things as sacrifices anymore. I have a lived body experience of how I feel without them. Sugar especially hits my body in a way I don’t enjoy anymore, and that makes the choice easy.

6. Started earning again.

In the second half of the year, I built my first AI employee and it was genuinely fun. I loved creating something that saved someone real time in their day. I got to play with AI, learn a ton, and build something useful. Having a monthly revenue stream feels nice, but what mattered more was that the process felt aligned. I didn’t sacrifice my routines, health, or time with family to make it work. I worked in focused blocks, went hard when I was working, and stepped away when I wasn’t. I don’t know what the next project will be, and I’m okay with that. I trust that if I keep following my curiosity, helping people, and doing good work, things will unfold. Also I genuinely love good technology. One small example: we needed a cable machine for the home gym but didn’t have the space, so we found this compact device that’s been a total game changer.

7. Dealing with injury.

I got badly injured after playing way too much golf — five times in seven days. Rotator muscles, hips, glutes — every step hurt for at least two weeks. There were moments I cried from the pain. It was miserable being in my body. In the past, something like that would’ve derailed everything. I’d sleep in to avoid feeling my body, eat poorly, escape with TV or alcohol, and drop all my habits. This time was different. I accepted that injuries are part of sport. I continued to eat well because it made me feel better. I didn’t rush back — I gave myself six weeks to heal. I trusted my chiro, massage therapist, and acupuncturist. I continued waking up at 5am and redirected my energy into building. I’d code for 90 minutes before the kids woke up and it filled me up. Building and mastery were fun, but I realized I also missed learning. So instead of putting off working on my putting until winter, I brought a putting mat into my office and practiced during breaks. That injury ended up being one of the most satisfying periods I’ve had.

8. Birthdays.

I usually don’t do much for birthdays. This year, Sonya and I had the energy to gather a small group of close friends. With kids, it’s sometimes hard to make enough time for friendships. Birthdays turned out to be a great excuse to bring together people we care about. We did things like a murder mystery dinner, sound bath, and cold plunge together. We laughed until we cried. It felt deeply connective.

9. Learning to let go.

I take myself too seriously. It’s hard for me to laugh at myself — that’s a growth area. I don’t roast people, and I don’t really get roasted. It’s comfortable. In November, I went on a golf trip to Mexico with Neil, Aminder, and a bunch of his friends. The roasting was constant and no one was spared — including me. At first it was uncomfortable, but it quickly became hilarious. I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in years. I stayed up way past my bedtime, drank more than I usually do, and just let go. I went in taking the golf way too seriously, putting pressure on myself to perform. Seeing how everyone was there more for the vibes helped me loosen up — and ironically, I played some of my best golf after that. I still value discipline a lot, but finding that balance between structure and playfulness is something I’m continuing to work on.

10. Playing with the kids.

There’s been a huge unlock with the kids lately. We can play board games now — Go Fish, Snakes & Ladders, Dominoes, Kerplunk, Happy Salmon, Trouble, Charades. Evenings and weekends feel more engaging, and I’m way more present. We’ve also started introducing some of our favorite childhood movies like Dil to Pagal Hai and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. The girls love all the music and dancing. We play and sing some of the songs on the piano. There are moments now where bedtime comes and I’m like, wait — it’s already bedtime? We were having so much fun.

11. Trips.

The second half of last year had a bunch of travel: Shanak’s wedding in New York, London, Mexico, Muskoka, Disney World, Costa Rica. What I’ve realized is the destination doesn’t matter much to me. I don’t care about sights. I care about connection. New York with friends felt soul-filling. London with Neil, Amisha, kids + grandparents felt light and playful. Mexico was full of laughs. Muskoka, Disney and Costa Rica with family were all about quality time together and new adventures, super proud of the kids for trying zip lining!

12. Dealing with overwhelm.

When I started building the AI employee, overwhelm hit hard. There was so much to do and so many details to get right. A line from Dr. Becky stuck with me: “That means the first step isn’t small enough.” I’ve been applying that ever since. Now, when I feel overwhelmed, I zoom way in and make the first step tiny. With coding especially, I’ll leave myself an easy task for the next day so I have a gentle on-ramp. It’s helped me keep momentum without freezing up from overwhelm.

13. Blue Jays.

What an epic time in Toronto. Total emotional roller coaster. Going to playoff and World Series games with the kids + family, cuddling with the kids while watching game 7, the home runs, the Yesavage experience, the nervous moments, and then the heartbreak of losing. It hurt. I was quickly reminded that nothing is guaranteed and we aren’t owed anything. You have to go and get it. I’m grateful we got to experience it together. Whether we won or lost didn’t matter in the end. Those moments are burned into my memory.

14. Family.

In October, Aminder and I spent a full weekend together in Toronto — no kids, no wives. I don’t remember the last time that happened since moving out for university. We played golf, watched the Jays, went to Othership, had great meals. It felt grounding and easy. We’ve had a weekly call for a couple of years now and it’s been amazing watching our relationship grow. For a while after high school, it felt like we were on different islands. Having a brother I can talk to vulnerably and who understands me deeply is something I’m incredibly grateful for. Having them over for Christmas and watching the kids play nonstop for days was another highlight.

15. Traditions.

Creating traditions with the kids has been really special. Writing letters to Santa, carving pumpkins, putting up Halloween decorations, Christmas lights, cookies for Santa, gingerbread houses. I love watching how excited they get and seeing their relationship to these moments evolve over time.

16. Practicing presence.

When I struggle to be present with the kids, I use negative visualization. I imagine I’ve passed away and somehow been given one day back. What would I want to do in that moment? Play with them. It snaps me out of my head fast.

17. Rest.

I value rest so much more now. Resting doesn’t mean I’m lazy — it’s essential for doing good work. When I’m grounded and rested, everything flows better. I give myself space after trips or busy stretches instead of pushing through. I don’t overbook myself the way I used to. I love this graphic that illustrates this well for me.

18. Intentions.

Some current ones: going to the bathroom without my phone, walking around the house with a weighted vest, no milk in coffee, do more things that feel scary, being less self-sacrificing, tapping into the feelings world more, relying less on caffeine, using fewer threats and more playfulness with the kids, writing more, putting pictures up around the house, more dada–daughter dates.

19. Home organization / purging.

In the past few months, we’ve spent many days organizing and purging the house. If you told me a year ago this is how I’d want to spend a weekend, I would’ve dreaded it. Now, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be — I love the feeling of having better systems in place. Sonya is a champ at creating systems, and having a place for everything feels mentally freeing.

20. AI with the kids.

Building things with the kids has been magical. Seeing the awe on their faces when an idea turns into something real is one of my favorite feelings. Recently, Zozo and I built Domino Soccer after playing with dominoes the night before. I’ve started building Imagineland— tools for parents and teachers to help kids see what’s possible with AI. I’m especially interested in kids being part of the creative process, moving ideas from offline to online and back offline again. I’ve only spent a couple of days on Imagineland, so still super early, but I’m excited to go deeper into it this year.

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